Friday, December 24, 2010

Done...and Done..

I have successfully stopped smoking (after that 6 day relapse beginning with certain movers, certain medical appointments, certain professionals....)! This is getting really old. Seriously. Did you say you were done again, Alyssa?Yeah, seriously! I have a certain sense of looking back to last year when I quit on New Years Eve. Perhaps I should just do that?!Okay. That makes no sense. Why would I buy another pack for a week when I know I am done now? That is a masterful justification. Excellent work. I am seriously done. I can't risk that I won't be able to stop like I am now. There are times that I can just stop cold turkey and now is one of those times. So Done.

I am actually completely done with my Christmas shopping. Which is most fortunate as I am Jewish. I am so blessed that I have wonderful people to spend Christmas with! I am so blessed that I have a job to go to and a home to live in and a car to drive on Christmas. THAT INDEED is my holiday gift and I am so happy that I have a roof over my head and a bed to call my own! Four pillows that belong to me! Max has been amazing at adjusting.I am not sure if he loves that elevator too much, but I think he knows it delivers him to the outside and he DEFINITELY LOVES his walks. The fact that I have a roof over my head and a job to go to and retained Max as my permanent roommate is incredible! If I am not positive, things are going to start going in reverse. Its enough that I can't stop thinking about last year at this time, when we were in Key Largo, when I had just finished my open water SCUBA certification (see my December 2009 entries), when I met incredible people and Jeff and I talked about quitting smoking together, oops....crap. STOP! I just can't do it any more. I can't think about the past....because then I would have the incorrect notion that this Christmas will never be the same. It will NEVER be the same. That much is true. It will have to be different. Different it is!

Done... and Done.

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