Thursday, June 17, 2010

Last Supper in Cougar Town

So, I would never go to the Stampede alone in my former party days. Someone always dragged me there who fared better with Western Two-step than I ever did. In the days of pre-2003, it was always about the party; in 2008, I had no idea what it was about. So, Sarah got my 39 year-old body there there this time and we got there somewhat early I believe (we were not major night owls with our respective work schedules). Other than chatting with Sarah (who had gone off somewhere temporarily, dancing probably), I was people watching. Watching drunk people is not as entertaining when you are not drunk yourself. I was actually pretty bored and out of sheer boredom and a splash of regret, I started talking to some tall person next to me. I met C.as a result of my infinite wisdom of talking to strange men. Some habits die hard, I tell you. And this strange man, my friends, was very much a boy, as it turned out.

After chatting outside (I really needed fresh air at that moment, if not sooner) and smoking way too many cigarettes(I know that concept of fresh air and getting a smoke was too logical for anyone to follow), I thought this boy was quite the grown up. Here I was, 39 years old and all; I should definitely know who all you are, wise men of the world. Wait, oxymoron, I know....anyway... So, this guy C. tells me he is twenty-something, and as bored as I was, my head was taking a very vivid time-capsule trip back to Sex and the City's episode of "Valley of the Twenty-somethings". This is my version.

He divulged information appropriate for an attractive pedigree. Things like college degree, new truck, CPA, employed in his field as a CPA (equally impressive as holding the CPA title), dog owner. Pretty cool for a twenty-something. I definitely didn't have all that going on at that young an age. I, for exactly 5-10 days (maximum), thought that was very admirable. So he asked for my number so he could pick me up the next day for a sushi dinner. He arrived that next day in same said truck, dressed in nice clean clothes, looking nice even though he drove to my condo directly from work; he drove me to Hapa Sushi in Cherry
Creek. We had a great time and for a few more days, things went along a very trendy dating pattern. I was fairly satisfied. I ended up at his place one night after watching movies way late (Lidiya was watching Max; I could never forget Max), and I saw that the dog was still outside and honestly, in the late hours that were were out, I totally forgot he had a dog and it was very cold. I made the mistake of warning him about keeping the dog outside with the really cold weather. The dog owner piece of the pedigree was suddenly questionable; he quickly brought the dog in, objecting to my admonishments. Jesus, the dog had some mighty frosty fur. I left early in the morning to get back to my dog whom (or is a dog just property in which case I would us "which") suddenly missed greatly and subsequently, I submitted to pangs of guilt over leaving him with Lidiya (though she took great care of Max). I should have been home and not over there helping to thaw out his pup.

A few days later, we went to the movies and he paid, which was nice. While waiting for the movie to start, I found out that this guy and I did NOT see eye to eye on pretty much any political scenario (Steve C, I am sure you guys would have hit it off and I am so glad I never dated you Steve!). He made a comment about Walmart's employees being so lucky to have jobs with Walmart. Back then, when I had a political boycott against that place due to some Frontline (or some such show) expose, I couldn't contain myself. I just couldn't-it was off to the races. We debated on all things Walmart, employee benefits, employee vacation allotments, pay wages, etc. I was livid. I didn't think C. was really going to make it in Cougar Town much longer. I stayed for the movie and even sat next to C.the whole time, which was pretty big of me, seeing as his Walmart politics were definitely not jiving with mine. So after 2 hours in the dark with C and watching the movie, I wasn't impressed with either. The best thing about being in that movie theater was the popcorn and my cherry icee.

My last date with C. was about 1-2 weeks in and I was to arrive at his house for dinner. I arrived there and what was waiting for me, quite frankly, disgusted me. He was getting ready to put some sausage in a pot of boiling water to boil...with uncooked pasta. The idea of pasta getting all soft and boiling in a pot of water and cased sausage made me want to hurl, almost immediately. Before he made the pasta (and sausage), I asked him if there was anything else that perhaps we could, because I didn't want to stomach the sausage (I was trying to be nice because sausage does give me some excessive gastric issues), but it soon came out that I thought the idea of boiling the pasta and cased sausage(or any kind of sausage would have yielded the same verdict from moi) was hideous and un-chef like. He said "then I guess you won't be eating anything because you should like what ever I make for you". Excellent. "Go look in the cabinet and see if there are any vegetables you want". Wait, aren't vegetables usually in the produce section of your fridge, C? Nope. Apparently they are stacked in cans of salty fluid in the pantry. Canned asparagus?yummy. I am in for a treat. Not. I asked if we could both go to the grocery together and make dinner together. I passionately tried to plea vigorously for this option so that we could try to enjoy the night and simultaneously not sounding so fussy (though I really think I could make a case for not boiling together the pasta and sausage). Wow, what a mature compromise...so very cool. No, not according to C., who consequently called me ungrateful and other equally savory names. Exciting!! And look how much I missed the drama. Ummm, notsomuch. I just lost my patience with the man-child at that precise moment I saw canned asparagus and he declined to opt for fresh veggies. Immediately, I wanted to leave and grab food with Lidiya (I texted her, telling her I would be home very soon to eat dinner and she was all good with that). I told him something NOT quite this polite: "maybe, this is a dinner better left uneaten;I think I just better leave period.". I left and called Lidiya before my car was even warmed up.
That was the last straw, and indeed, the Last Supper was much better left uneaten.

1 comment:

  1. I did not want to die from laughter (although not the worst way to go)....Thanks for taking me on an extraordinary journey with you girlfriend!!!! LMAO

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